Body of lies

Kyle Riviere
Weekly Citizen Sports Editor Kyle Riviere.

There have been some monumental liars throughout history.

Of course, there was no greater liar than Adolf Hitler. He fed the people of Germany his egregious propaganda for years until they believed every word that came out of his mouth.

He had them all believing that it was truly the fault of the Jews that Germany had lost World War I. We all know what tragic atrocities came next.

It was all part of his "the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it" philosophy.

However, as we've seen in sports the past few weeks, some lies are just too ridiculous and grand to ever be taken seriously.

Two weeks ago, Florida State's Heisman Trophy-winning quarterbak Jameis Winston pulled off the great Publix Crab Heist of 2014. Later, he was cited for shoplifting the bag of crab legs from said grocery store.

As a result, he was given a small fine, forced to do some community service and his baseball coach came down hard on him. He was suspended from the team for five whole days.

That should put the fear of God into him. No way he doesn't learn his lesson after such a brutal punishment.

Ramifications aside, Winston offered a simple explanation for burglarizing the store's seafood department. He claimed that he simply forgot to pay for the item.

Are we to believe that a grown man walked out of the store with over $30 worth of crab legs--thinking he had paid for them already? I'm sorry, Jameis, but that's a tough sell.

It's an almost impossible sell now that a surveillance video has been released that shows Winston enter the store, walk right to the seafood department and grab the crab legs. It's the only item he takes.

He then walks to the front of the store, passes right by the registers and gingerly walks out with his prized shellfish.

Though, I must say that his unlikely tale of a Publix trip gone awry pales in comparison to the latest claim of Ole Miss basketball star Marshall Henderson.

As you all have probably heard by now, Missouri defensive end Michael Sam was drafted by the Rams last Saturday. With his selection, he made history--becoming the first ever openly-gay player drafted into the NFL.

Because of the social significance of the moment, ESPN had a live feed of Sam the second he heard his name called. In his moment of jubilation, an emotional and teary-eyed Sam shared a brief peck on the lips with his boyfriend followed by a long embrace.

It's perfectly understandable for a male of the heterosexual persuasion to be a little uncomfortable at the sight of two other men having a make-out session, but Sam's draft moment was far from that. It was pretty much a 180.

That didn't stop Henderson from being grossed out and taking his ignorance and outrage to Twitter.

He first tweeted, "Boycotting Sportscenter till this Michael Sam nasty [expletive, expletive] is off. My brothers are 7 and 11 and saw that!!! #SICKENING."

Soon afterward, he added, "I'm sorry, but I DO NOT AGREE WHATSOEVER that should be shown to where innocent eyes can see!!!"

Understandably, there was a ton of backlash that followed.

Many people made an interesting point. Henderson should worry less about his two young brothers being morally-corrupted by a one-second kiss by two men and a little more worried about them being affected by him getting busted for possession of cocaine.

It was just this past summer when he was caught with the powder and even a little marijuana. He was suspended for three games as a result. Another devastating punishment by the way.

But all of this led to one of the most epic excuses a public figure has ever concocted to explain idiotic comments.

Henderson said that his tweets were all part of a social experiment he was doing for a gay friend of his. This supposed gay friend was thinking about coming out, so he wanted to see how people would react to comments like the ones made by Henderson.

Of course, Henderson can't comment on the identity of this secret friend because he's scared to come forward.

After serving up this explanation, Henderson even went on to pat himself on the back for this tremendous humanitarian act by saying, "What better way to get research and feedback than to do it like I did? Everything I did is a psychologist and educator's dream." What a guy, huh?

I believe Henderson's half-baked excuse just as much as I believe the Warren Commission's investigation of the JFK assassination.

Although, I guess Michael Sam isn't the only trail blazer. Now, Henderson is one too.

He will be the first in a long line of famous people that says something outrageously stupid on Twitter and then plays the "it was all just a social experiment" card.

I guess that's a good thing. I was starting to get tired of all those tales of accounts being hacked.

Who knows? Maybe Winston and Henderson really are telling the truth. If you think so, I have some beachfront property in Idaho I'd love to sell you.