COLUMNS

TABLE D'HOTE: Pop Quiz

Wade McIntyre

The economy is getting to be a headache, but at least the election is over. So relax and take this quiz about everybody in Louisiana’s favorite state. Presented in multiple guess format.  Answers, below. No peeking. Quiz is subjective, but one choice is more correct than others. Even if you miss them all, please do not jump out a window or write a letter to the editor.

1) The Gonzales Weekly Citizen is published how many times per week?

a) 1

b) 3

c) 2

d) all of the above added together

2) In order to be part of Louisiana’s culture,  one must:

a) Be an LSU football fan

b) Wrestle with an alligator and lose a finger

c) Smoke a carton of cigarettes before turning the legal age to buy tobacco products

d) Be a birdwatcher and not own a gun

3) Those who tailgate before football games would most likely be considered:

a) Gourmands

b) Gourmets

4) Huey Long was governor of what state?

a) North Dakota

b) State of Mind

c) Spain

d) Louisiana

5) In Louisiana, oil is:

a) What you cook fish in

b) The industry your cousin works for

c) Essential to the mullet hair style

d) The thin, colorful sheen on rivers and bayous

6) The greatest pop song of all time:

a) I Can Help - Billy Swan

b) Like a Chevy - Bob Seger

c) Kidnapper - Van Broussard

d) My Baby Does the Hanky Panky - Tommy James and the Shondells

7) Which city or town is not located in Louisiana?

a) NOLA

b) Bush

c) Lena

d) Whynot

8) President Bush should:

a) Pardon Edwin Edwards

b) Have the networks give EWE a reality show from his cell

c) Not meddle in Louisiana family affairs

9) At night, most Louisianans pray for:

a) Victory over Alabama in football

b) A bountiful crawfish season

c) A sunny day

d) Light traffic during the drive home

10) Most popular non-sports Web site in the state:

a) thedeadpelican.com

b) thebraindeadpelican.com

c) bimbosgobananasonbourbonstreet.com

d) ascensionparish.net

11)  Now that the U.S. elected its first black President, the new most unlikely thing to happen in your lifetime is:

a) A Harvard study declaring fried seafood food healthy when consumed at least five nights a week

b) Martians invade Earth, land first in Louisiana, and begin devouring massive quantities of fried seafood, thus creating a terrifying grease shortage

c) The recession was just a bad dream, as American’s discover on Saturday Night Live April 1, 2009

d) A close-up replay during the LSU-Alabama game shows Nick Saban using telepathy to call the plays in LSU’s huddle during the Tiger’s loss Nov. 6

Answers:

1) C; 2) A; 3) A; 4) D; 5) B; 6) C; 7) D; 8) C; 9) C; 10) A; 11) D

Wade McIntyre is a reporter for The Gonzales Weekly Citizen. He can be reached at reporter1@weeklycitizen.com.