My Shout: If I only knew then

Charlotte Guedry
Charlotte Guedry

When I was a little girl, I couldn’t wait to grow up. I couldn’t wait to be a grown up. I’d eat what I wanted, wear what I liked, and be friends with who I wanted to be friends with. No one was ever going to tell me what to do ever again. I was going to have it made. I’d be a grown up, and that meant the world was my oyster.

You did notice that I mentioned I thought these things when I was a little girl, right?

Being a grown up is hard. It is incredibly difficult at times.

There are bills to be paid. Food has to be put on the table, it doesn’t just miraculously appear there. There are people we have to talk to, whether we like them or not. We have to fit into molds, and we have to wear different hats in different situations.

It’s not a whole lot of fun when we really stop and think about it.

The world seems to be calling to us when we’re younger.  Our opportunities seem endless, and we can’t wait to be away from the ever present eyes of our parents. We can’t wait to be independent.

They tell us when to go to bed. They tell us when to brush our teeth. They tell us, well, everything.

I’ve had a very long couple of weeks. My schedule has been ridiculous, and there hasn’t been an awful lot of me time. When these periods of time become more frequent, I long for those days of dependence. I long for my mum to tell me that dinner is on the table, and that all I have to do is to wash up and sit down. I long for those days when the electricity is simply on, and I have no idea how. I long for the days where my mum would drive me anywhere I needed to go, and I didn’t have a clue about the cost of gasoline. Basically, I long for any added responsibility to be taken from me, so that I can live in a bubble of thinking that life isn’t what you make it, but rather, it just is what it is.

We all want to grow up so quickly, and get out into the “real world.” Well, I’ve got to tell you, the “real world” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

It’s fast paced. It’s competitive. It can be unfriendly at times. It’s complicated. Decisions have to be made. Does the dish washer get fixed this month, or do I finally put brake pads on my car?

I love my life, it’s not that I mean to sound as though I’m complaining. I love my job, my family, and my friends.

It’s just that sometimes, I’d like to be able to curl up on the sofa in front of an after school special and take a nap. And then when I wake up, I can once again be that little girl, who always knew that everything was going to be okay, and that she didn’t have to be the one responsible for seeing to that.