Perks of being a golden ager

Joe Guilbeau, humorist
Mr. Joe Guilbeau

In cold weather it is o.k. to wear your pajama's under your clothes.

If you are a Cajun, it is o.k. to plant your flowers in old used tires.

Kidnapers are not very interested in you.

In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

Life is too short to dance with ugly men.

You may be getting older, but you refuse to grow up.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask "Did I wake you up?"

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You can eat supper at 4 o'clock!

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations!

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

It's o.k. to use your riding lawn mower for transportation.

No one expects you to run anywhere.

You don't have to get anywhere on time.

Your trips to the bank are no longer important.

You no longer have to appear as a fashion plate.

You no longer try to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into a room.

You have found it's not easy being perfect - but somebody has to do it.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

You have learned to enjoy a really good slice of bread.


Is there life before coffee?

Remember, the purpose of time is to keep everything from happening at once!

In life, sometimes you have to make a pit stop . . . But you must never give up the race!

Forget about the song, "Don't Get Around Much Anymore."