Advice from 18: Let's talk about millennial meals
If you happen to know that guac costs extra before the server even tells you, you may be a victim to the age of millennial meals.
While fancy coffees have always been around, there's been an influx of trendy foods taking over the local cafes and hipster restaurants around the globe.
Yes, cold-brew is a simple drink, but its recent popularity has prevailed over the usual cappuccino. Why you may ask? Maybe because it looks better in a decorative mason jar and those get more likes on Instagram.
Not a fan of coffee? Why not try some bacteria tea!
Kombucha is another millennial liquid that has been gentrified to fit the needs of yoga moms across America.
Personally, one of my favorite brands comes from the "founder of Kombucha," GT Dave, or better known as a real-life James Bond villain.
Seriously, watch Forbes' recent Youtube video on him. Warning: it's scary, to say the least.
Can't handle the sharp, distinct taste of age-old fermented green tea? Take a sip of seltzer water!
La Croix is a popular brand of flavored sparkling water trendy with Millennials and their social media feeds today. The 90's nostalgic design on the cans resembles a Dixie cup's older, cooler sister.
This carbonated water does come with many variations of fruity flavors that may change the design and color concept of the can, but barely the taste!
And if you're over the age of twenty-one and want to order an adult La Croix, get a White Claw and be proud of your low-calorie intake.
Finally, for our Millennial beverages, there is the juice cleanse. This typically involves a lot of kale and days of replacing your meals with adult baby food slug.
This supposedly detoxes your body of the bad stuff, and it replaces it with week-old mashed greens.
Speaking of kale, it has unfortunately fallen into the realm of vegetables that have been reclaimed by the youth. Alongside it, you may find any variation of avocado in the entire world.
From the infamous avocado toast to avocado egg rolls to avocado burritos, there's a place anywhere for these green, oval baseballs.
What's an avocado burrito, you may ask?
An avocado burrito is literally a soft tortilla shell rolled up with smashed avocado inside. It's something special because nothing says "struggling college student home-cooked meal" quite like it.
There is also always a home for fried eggs these days. Trying to identify a trendy and Millennial place to eat? Check to make sure they have sunny-side-up eggs on their hamburgers!
Another way to spot out a potential hip burger joint is by making sure they have an option to wrap your greasy meat patty in lettuce because a bun would be too much sugar.
Also, keep your eyes peeled for a red sauce bottle. No, it isn't ketchup, it's Sriracha.
Lastly, there's dessert.
There is no better way to end a meal than with some froyo.
While frozen yogurt markets itself as a healthy alternative to ice cream, the toppings you get to add for basically free tend to up your sugar intake by one thousand.
As an eighteen year old, however, I think I’ll stick with the sweets.