Advice from 18: Let's talk about teenage heartbreak
I'm definitely not a relationship expert, even though I know everything because I am an eighteen-year-old. But hey, if I can help at least one 50-year-old man named Joe getting over his third wife, Cindy, who left him for a college student-athlete, then there we go!
I'm also writing about this because I want to record my thoughts at this age. It sucks, but I know I'm not going to be this young, beautiful, and have my rose-colored glasses forever.
So, let's talk about the most teenage-girl-thing you can: heartbreak! Even if this may be your first, eighth, or your non-existing one with Harry Styles, we'll work through it together.
The first step in my playbook of dealing with heartbreak is to expel your emotions.
This is the time to grab that ice cream and put on a Nicholas Sparks movie to let it all out. Don't bottle up your emotions! They make you human.
Also, don't judge or harp on yourself for how emotional you may be. It's only natural to feel shattered after losing someone you use to be so close with, even if they wronged you.
Take your time! It's your call on how long it's gonna take you to get over it.
Secondly, find your family.
Your family may be your friends, coworkers, or your church. My number one prescription is to be vulnerable, and those people who love you will be there for you wholeheartedly.
Even call that friend you haven't talked to in months and apologize for shutting them out. Loved ones know you, and they will reassure you of your own self-worth when you're the harshest on yourself.
Additionally, cancel your contact.
Reaching out to your ex or obsessing over their social media is just going to make you spiral out further.
As harsh as it is, their life no longer involves you. Their decisions are now completely their own, and you have to accept that.
The relationship you were in probably taught you a lot, so this is the time of discovering your own destiny.
Own up that you are where you are today because of everything that has happened.
My dad used to always say, "the one thing people can't take away from you is your knowledge."
Even if they literally took items away from you, say in a divorce, they can't take away the lessons you've learned from them.
Your mind is expanded and with that, new doors have opened for you like you couldn't even imagine.
New opportunities await you in this time of scavenging your selfishness.
This may tie into the last way of coping, but finding yourself and your independence again is key.
Get back into hobbies, spend time with yourself, and make decisions solely based on you. Put your energy back into things that make you happy such as exercising, volunteering, or reading.
Lastly, there is no catchy phrase for the hardest step: forgiveness.
It's plain and simple. Be thankful for the experience and who it turned you into today.
This was undoubtedly someone you once loved, so be optimistic for their future.
Wish them the best because being endlessly bitter only ends up hurting you, not them.
So, would I do it all over again? Probably not. Would I Ctrl-Alt-Delete the entire experience? Absolutely not.
Do I regret the initial PDA in coffee shops and annoying social media post? Sure I do, but I learned so much.
I learned the value of being compassionate and considerate of others' feelings. However, I also learned about the worth of being selfish.
I figured out about self-identity and the value of loving yourself before you can love anyone else. I also learned about how much ice cream costs, but that's another lesson for another day.