My Shout: The life of a klutz

Charlotte Guedry
Charlotte Guedry is the Editor of the Gonzales Weekly Citizen.?You can reach her by emailing

Yesterday I did the stupidest thing!

I was walking down the hall in my home with a cup of coffee in one hand, and plucking at my mascara that seemed clumpy with the other, when lo and behold, I slipped on Rufus’ dog bone.

Well, as I’m sure you can imagine, coffee on my outfit, and finger straight into my eye. Yep, I’ve scratched my cornea, and am now sporting the most unattractive Pirates of the Caribbean patch I’ve ever seen.

Like I said, stupid, right?!

It’s weird having a patch on your eye.

At first glance I was hoping for some sexy, French film heroine look. Sort of like I was head of some French Foreign Legion resistance movement. I looked at it and thought, I can do this. It gives me an edge.

Well, day two into the patch has brought with it numerous headaches, and a blurry good eye.

It’s funny how much we rely on the balance between both eyes. My perception is off. I can’t drive. I feel nauseaus.

If you were to ask anyone I know, they would tell you?I’ve always been a bit of klutz. If there’s a pole or a wall to be walked into, then I’m your gal! Need someone to trip up or down some stairs, call me! Want to eat lunch or dinner with someone who will have dropped more food on themselves than into their mouths. I’m available! Don’t even get me started on my participation in recreational sports. I think my friends decide to call and include me solely for the amusement factor.

Being a klutz is hard. You’ve got to always be paying attention to everything. You have to think ahead, and that’s not as easy as some might think.

My home is always stocked with bandages and ointments, as chances are, they’re going to be needed, and it’s a real pain if I happen to be out of anything.

People look at a klutz as someone who rushes around too much; they dont take care with what they’re doing; they don’t pay attention.

While on the surface that may tick a few boxes, I’m here to tell you that the life of a klutz is so much more than that.

We know it’s going to happen, so we have to be prepared. Cuts, scrapes, bumps on the head, bruises, yes... we know they’re coming. We don’t seek them out, they are simply a part of who we are.

I’m not proud of being a klutz, but I do think it makes me a little more understanding when accidents befall others.

I don’t laugh when someone trips.?I’m not doubled over when someone falls. I stop for a moment and think, “Poor dear. I know just what you’re going through.”

I urge all of you out there to think of us klutzes as you go throughout your injury free days. Take pride in knowing you won’t have any emergencies or setbacks that plague your afternoons.

We klutzes out there, though, will live in fear day after day. We will wait with baited breath for the next curse to come our way.

As for me, I’m generally a bit frightened now. Being a klutz is bad enough, but when you’ve only got one good eye, your peripheral vision is off, and you’ve got a lot of rushing around to do...... anything can happen!