Santa's Local Horoscopes

Staff Writer
Gonzales Weekly Citizen

Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19, The Ram)

You'll want to listen to your spiritual advisor this week because the holidays can be rough. But you and I both know you won't take their advice.

Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20, The Bull)

I'd tell you to stand your ground this holiday season, but you already do a fine job of that. How about this instead. Don't be so pushy when your point is made.

Gemini (May 21-June 20, The Twins)

The nature of you is bordeline aloofm but it really just depends on who you're talking to. This Xmas surround yourself with exciting conversation.

Cancer (Jun. 21-Jul. 22, The Crab)

I'm really pleased that you went Christmas shopping and only bought that one small thing for yourself. You needed that thing for the house badly.

Leo (Jul. 23-Aug. 22, The Lion)

If family flares up this Xmas, I'd be best to say don't try to out scream anyone. You're going to win, but at a cost that everyone is going to hate you.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22, The Maiden)

It's been a balance of comedy and tragedy with you all year. I'm really proud that you've managed to maintain serenity, and you've made joy in the world. Thanks!

Libra (Sep. 23-Oct. 22, The Scales)

Just go with the flow if anyone needs your help this holiday season. And they do, or they will. Make yourself useful, and I might give you something nice.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21, The Scorpion)

The nice usually outweighs the naughty each year for you, Scorpio, but it's a close call. Thisx year is no different. Your ego is some grand, but your kindness is top-notch.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21, The Centaur)

I have one thing to ask of you this Xmas, and that is to win the ugly sweater contest. Or help someone else win. I will give extra points for that behavior.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19, The Goat)

You do a great job over the holidays balancing seeing all of your loved ones. You get my blessing again this year. Drive extra safe, and take it easy this week.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18, The Water-bearer)

I'm still pressed to say that artistic endeavors should be focused upon this week in the spirit of Christmas. Bring as much joy to others, and it will be its own reward.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20, The Fish)

You're the rock this year. I want you to be the life of the party, and I want you to break conventional and use your vast imagination to touch the life of someone near you this holiday week.

For entertainment purposes only. Horoscopes are not based in fact.