Santa's Local Horoscopes
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19, The Ram)
Slow down some! I know you want to make sure everyone has the perfect gift, but . . . nevermind, keep it up! You'll feel better when your list is fully checked!
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20, The Bull)
When you're finished preparing a delicious, savory meal for your family remember to take some time for yourself to chill out this Christmas. You've earned it, big dog!
Gemini (May 21-June 20, The Twins)
When you can't decide what to get that special someone this holiday season, go with your gut even though it's probably the thing making you indecisive.
Cancer (Jun. 21-Jul. 22, The Crab)
Likely your house is decorated to the hilt for Xmas, and if it's not you're probably a mean old grinch anyway and nobody wants to visit you.
Leo (Jul. 23-Aug. 22, The Lion)
Make sure it's the friends and family you've cared for all year long keeping you warm this Christmas and not the egg nog and wacky tobacco.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22, The Maiden)
Since you're probably tired of brooding over global warming and parish traffic issues, here's an idea to bring you joy: Embrace the christmas music. Make a killer playlist!
Libra (Sep. 23-Oct. 22, The Scales)
If you forget one more time that it's the holiday season and we're all being merry and joyful, I'm putting you on the naughty list forever.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21, The Scorpion)
I'm thinking you might be encouraged to start a new tradition of marathon Christmas caroling this year. But you have to do it barefoot and sing as loudly as you can!
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21, The Centaur)
I need you to put the cool back into the season. All these other people are taking the fun out of it, making it convoluted and annoying. Be the cool one this Xmas, sag.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19, The Goat)
I know, you probably want to buy yourself a little gift for yourself this Christmas. And that's fine. Just make sure for everything you get yourself, you give one. Even Steven.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18, The Water-bearer)
Get some coffee and walk around to see the beautiful lights, or drive around. Just be safe and merry. Take the kids and let them see the beauty of Christmas, too.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20, The Fish)
My hope for you fishies is that you stay balanced this holiday season. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. When the pressure gets too high, figure out ahealthy release valve.
For entertainment purposes only. Horoscopes are not based in fact.